Need to vent

You want it... here it is. This is not really a frilly or happy post. I need to vent. If you don't want to hear it, click the X button at the top and don't read it. I still need to vent.

It started two Fridays ago. Brian came home and said Do you want to the good news or the best news?" Shoot... "Every one's yards are mowed, and I have the weekend off." This is bliss for our busy family. Having a daddy that mows 4 different yards biweekly and works weekends can be daunting, for him and us. I thought we were off to start the perfect weekend... then W's dad showed up early to pick him up from daycare. I told him, "you are early", and he said, "yeah, about that, we need to talk." Long story made short, he had taken a job promotion that meant they no longer required care for W, and I was out of a job, effective immediately (thankfully I put a two week clause in my contract, so they wrote me two weeks worth of pay out). Blissful weekend down the tubes and in it's place worry and dread appear...

I started posting fliers, and answering calls to no avail. Last Monday I find a flier requesting immediate care for her 5 year old. Sweet. We arrange a time to meet, and after dragging the boys out to meet her, spending the money to buy them lunch at said meeting place, and waiting 50 minutes, she no shows me.

Wednesday, I answer a phone call on the way out the door to preschool. The boys had already stepped into the garage, so I am assuming they are riding trikes while I take a 2 minute phone call. I step into the garage to discover all three of them hammering my SUV with real hammers. I have close to 40 hammer nicks on the side of my car.

Thursday we head to a play date, and I decide to stop at the store and grab some milk. I get out of the car, hit the unlock button, and shut the door to realize I've actually hit the lock button and locked all three boys in the minivan. After a few minutes of coaxing Cole, he got out of his car seat on his own, and unlocked the car for me. Thank God that is a skill he has been practicing...

While all of this has been going on the boys have been terribly ill. Finally Sunday we spent the money to take them to urgent care, and Cole was prescribed antibiotics for a sinus infection. He is already much better.

AND, as if it couldn't get any better, yesterday, I slammed Cole's finger in the minivan door. My sister, Erin, called to talk to me, so I was distracted trying to load the car (not blaming you sis), and I didn't look down before shutting the door. As the door was almost shut, I saw his thumb in the door and screamed... then he screamed louder. I ran him inside to get a cold pack, looked down at him, and there was blood everywhere. He had a huge cut on the underside of his thumb. I couldn't get it to stop, so I bandaged him up and rushed him to the doctor to pay another copay (that I don't have the money for). After an exam and x-rays, she gave us $25 band aid, and that's only the cost of the band aid before the other bills arrive.

I just can't cut a break. I am tired. Tired of worrying about money, tired of robbing Peter to pay Paul. Tired of looking for daycare kids, and wondering what the future makeup of our household will be. Why can't it ever just fall into place like I picture it in my head. Would it just be easier to go back to work? Is the stress it brings on worth me staying at home? Ugh. Like I said sorry it wasn't bubble gum and cupcakes, but I feel a little better.